Marriage Counseling Orange County | Costa Mesa
Providing In-person & Online Couples Counseling in Orange County
Are you tired of feeling like the bad guy in your relationship?
What Brings You to This Point?
Maybe you’ve been feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, carefully tiptoeing around conversations to avoid another argument. Or maybe you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the weight of so many unresolved conflicts and unmet needs. Perhaps you’re on the edge of hopelessness that nothing is improving despite your efforts. The longer this disconnection lingers, the more unbearable it feels—a growing distance that leaves you questioning whether your partner still sees you, still values you, or still loves you. You’re exhausted by repeating the same arguments, navigating cold silences, or holding back your emotions to avoid making things worse.
You might be here because you’re:
Feeling disconnected from your partner, as if the spark that once brought you together has dimmed or is nonexistent now.
Arguing over the same issues repeatedly, with no resolution in sight.
Struggling to communicate, leaving you feeling misunderstood or ignored.
Dealing with broken trust from infidelity or other betrayals.
Navigating major life transitions like becoming parents, empty nesting, or relocating.
Feeling lonely, even while in the same room as your partner.
If any of these resonate with you, know that you’re not alone. Many couples face these challenges, but few have the tools to navigate them effectively. Getting couples therapy often comes after months, or even years of feeling stuck and frustrated. The couple is usually in a state of crisis with both partners feeling they can’t continue with how things have been. In each of you, there is a deep desire for change—a flicker of hope that your relationship can heal and thrive with the right guidance. I can help you with that using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).
Reaching out for couples therapy is an act of courage, fueled by the belief that love, connection, and understanding are still possible. Together, we can rediscover what brought you together and build something stronger.
My Expertise in Supporting Asian Couples with Cultural Dynamics and Complexities
As an EFT-trained Psychologist with a deep understanding of Asian mental health and intergenerational trauma, I bring a unique perspective that resonates with couples navigating cultural complexities:
Cultural Sensitivity: Growing up as a 1.5-generation immigrant from Vietnam, I know firsthand how emotions were often unspoken in many Asian households. Vulnerability was discouraged, emotional needs went unacknowledged, and expressing feelings was seen as unnecessary or even shameful. These silent family norms often follow us into adulthood, creating barriers to connection in our most important relationships. Unintentionally, we do what we know - what we witnessed from our family of origin.
Healing Generational Patterns: Many Asian couples struggle with unspoken wounds passed down through generations. Without healthy relationship models from our parents, we might default to avoidance, misunderstandings, or shutting down when things get tough. Together, we’ll work to break these cycles and create healthier dynamics—not just for you, but for future generations.
Language and Cultural Comfort: I offer therapy sessions in Vietnamese for couples who feel most comfortable expressing themselves in their native language or within the context of their culture. Understanding where you come from—both literally and emotionally—helps create a space where you feel truly seen and understood.
My Commitment to You As Your EFT Psychologist
I am committed to guiding you through this transformative journey with expertise, compassion, and cultural awareness. I understand the complex interplay of cultural expectations, family history, and relationship dynamics unique to Asian couples and immigrant families.
This is more than just counseling. Embarking on this healing experience of Emotionally Focused Therapy is a journey to redefining what love, connection, and partnership can look like, free from the emotional burdens of the past. We’ll honor where you’ve been, but we’ll also look forward to where you want to go. Together, we’ll build trust, connection, and understanding—redefining what love and partnership can look like for you.
Whether you’re feeling stuck, on the brink of separation, or simply wanting to strengthen your bond, I’m here to help you achieve the connection and fulfillment you deserve. Let’s work together to create a relationship that not only survives but thrives.
Take the First Step
You don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out today to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation. Together, we can create the relationship you’ve always wanted—one built on trust, intimacy, and lasting love.
Your relationship is worth it. Let’s begin the journey to transformation.
FAQ about EFT Couples Counseling in Orange County
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Emotionally Focused Therapy is widely regarded as the gold standard for couples therapy. Backed by decades of research, EFT is a structured, evidence-based approach designed to help couples break negative cycles of interaction and build stronger, more secure emotional bonds.
The Evidence Behind EFT
EFT has been extensively studied and consistently demonstrates impressive results:
75-90% of couples report significant improvement in their relationships after EFT.
70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, achieving lasting relationship satisfaction.
These results are not short-lived. Research shows that the benefits of EFT are long-lasting, even years after therapy has ended.
These statistics are supported by numerous studies, including research published in peer-reviewed journals such as the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy and Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. The data reflects not just a temporary improvement, but a profound and enduring transformation in the way couples connect and communicate with each other.
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Emotionally Focused Therapy is based on attachment theory, which emphasizes the importance of emotional bonds in our relationships. When these bonds feel secure, we experience safety, connection, and intimacy. When they’re strained, however, we may feel vulnerable, reactive, or distant.
Key Goals of EFT
Identify Negative Patterns: EFT helps couples recognize and interrupt destructive cycles of interaction that keep them stuck.
Explore Vulnerabilities: Partners learn to express their deeper emotions and needs in a way that fosters understanding and connection.
Rebuild Emotional Security: By creating a safe space for open communication, couples develop trust, empathy, and a renewed sense of closeness.
Through EFT, you and your partner will begin to see each other not as adversaries, but as allies, working together to meet each other’s emotional needs.Item description
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Couples therapy with EFT is a collaborative and experiential journey. Here’s what the process typically looks like:
Assessment: We’ll start by understanding the dynamics of your relationship, identifying strengths, challenges, and recurring patterns of interaction.
De-escalation: Together, we’ll work to calm conflict and reduce tension by identifying and addressing the root causes of disconnection.
Reconnection: You’ll learn and practice how to express your emotions and needs in ways that deepen intimacy and trust in each other.
Consolidation: As new patterns of interaction take hold, you’ll feel empowered to sustain these changes long after therapy ends.
Through this process, you’ll develop tools and insights that can transform not only your current relationship but also the way you approach connection and conflict in the future. description
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The transformative kind! Imagine a relationship where you feel deeply understood, valued, and supported by your partner. Picture resolving conflicts with empathy and ease, instead of anger or avoidance. With EFT, these outcomes are possible.
Here’s how things will be different:
Improved Communication: Learn to express your needs and emotions without fear of judgment or rejection.
Deeper Intimacy: Reignite the emotional and physical connection that brought you together.
Renewed Trust: Rebuild faith in one another after breaches of trust.
Stronger Partnership: Face challenges as a united team, rather than as adversaries.
Emotional Resilience: Navigate future conflicts with confidence and compassion.
Couples who commit to the EFT process often describe their relationships as unrecognizable from where they started—in the best way possible.
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Since many couple’s therapists do not accept insurance you do not need a referral from your general physician (GP) to see a couple’s therapist. Please contact me directly by completing the contact form on my website or call me at (626) 991-2099.
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Essentially, there is no difference between these terminologies. I will help you do the hard work of reconnecting with your partner, whether you two are married or not.
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Studies show that couples wait an average of 7 years beyond when they first have problems! Relationship problems do not get better on their own. So please don’t wait. The longer problems exist, the harder it is repair and heal.
It is long overdue when you notice feeling “moody” and irritable. You feel down and unmotivated. You’re not engaged or interested in things that used to bring you joy. A tell-tale sign is when the thoughts or feelings you’re experiencing are affecting your sleep. Whether it be having a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep. Quality sleep is vital for your mind and body to function properly. Every aspect of your life suffers when sleep is poor. So when your negative thoughts and feelings are interfering with your ability to sleep, function, and enjoy life, then it’s time seek out couples counseling.
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Being an Emotionally Focused Therapist requires an additional 2-3 years of training and supervision beyond the 10 years of education and training to be a licensed Clinical Psychologist.
In addition to my specialties, the fee also depends on the geographic area (urban vs rural), the therapist’s licensure status (fully licensed or in training), degree type (Doctorate vs. Master’s), expertise, and years of experience.
It requires years of education and training to become licensed to effectively and ethically treat people. Once licensed, our learning doesn’t stop. We regularly have to pay for additional training to stay abreast on the latest evidence-based treatment interventions and/or get certifications to specialized areas.
Unlike other medical professions, therapists don’t ever double-book their appointments. The therapy hour is reserved solely for you to be with the doctor. Think back to your last visit to the dentist or physical therapist. You probably spent more time with the assistant or paraprofessional than the actual doctor.
Another reason why therapy is costly is because of the nature of the work. Being a therapist is a mentally and emotionally demanding profession. This takes a toll on the therapist. This is why a therapist who prioritizes their mental well-being will limit how many patients they see in a week. Psychologists prioritize self-care to limit burnout. Read more about the importance of a therapist going to therapy here. Building in time for self-care behaviors ensures that each person we treat gets 100% of us. The session fee allows us to be the most effective therapists while enabling us to pay our bills and make a living in our chosen profession.
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The decision to not take insurance takes into account complex factors that influence how mental health professionals provide treatment and what’s in the patient’s best interest. Here are the primary reasons why:
1. Confidentiality
Protecting your identity and usage of mental health services is the bedrock of the mental health profession. By law, we are legally required to protect your identity at all cost. The exceptions are if you pose a danger to yourself, other people, or use insurance. Insurance companies and their employees have access to your diagnosis, treatment plan, and session notes. You might not feel the impact of this in the immediate future, but the repercussions of this will be felt when you buy life insurance or apply for a job that requires medical records as part of your background check.
2. Insurance companies dictate how therapy is done.
Providers in network with insurance are required to practice based on the parameters set forth by insurance companies. They determine the number of sessions you need, what gets talked about during your session, and what treatment method should be used. They want you to get treatment with the least amount of cost to them. Often times, what you need to get better does not align with what insurance companies are willing to pay. Your treatment plan should be determined between you and your doctor, not insurance companies.
3. Low rates, inconsistent payments, & delayed payments
Insurance companies pay about 50% of a Psychologist’s private pay fee. For some insurance companies, their pay to the Psychologist changes every year without notice, and payment doesn’t arrive until 4-6 weeks after claims are submitted. Imagine going to work, not knowing how much you’d get paid and when your paycheck will come in.
4. Time consuming
Often time, if there is an issue with claims being denied or payment/session being uncharacteristically low, it is almost impossible to talk to anybody about the problem. It is quite the norm to be on hold for hours, only to get disconnected.
5. Burnout
With insurance paying so low, it forces providers to see more patients in their day to make up for the low fee. The increase in volume of patients to offset the low fee + all the factors mentioned above contribute to provider burnout. Patients ultimately suffer because it is hard to get the best care from providers who are overworked and underpaid.