The Courage To Be Seen: A Vietnamese Psychologist’s Personal and Professional Journey from Vietnam to Orange County
The following is my reflection on the thoughts and feelings I had in sharing my story with VoyageLA, an online platform dedicated to showcasing entrepreneurs, professionals, and freelancers in their community. Click here to read my full interview.
Initial resistance to being seen
When I received the invitation from VoyageLA to share my story of being a Vietnamese Psychologist in Orange County, my immediate reaction was “HELL NO!” Hell no for so many reasons: I’m too busy, I have nothing worthwhile to share, I’m not a good enough writer, and I don’t want to expose my lifelong struggles with grammar for all to see. Definitely, unequivocally, a “hell no!”
Embracing the challenge
My initial refusal lasted a few moments, followed by an eye roll and some expletives as I realized what I had to do. I had to say yes. It was my “something hard” for the day, a principle I learned from undergoing my own psychotherapy - to confront challenges and do something hard every day. I’ve learned that when I have such a strong knee-jerk reaction like this, I need to re-evaluate my decision because there is usually an opportunity buried beneath the fear.
Moving towards fear
As a Psychologist specializing in anxiety, I often counsel my patients to confront their fears rather than run from them. One of the qualities I’m most proud of as a Psychologist is never asking my patients to do what I wouldn't do myself. Accepting the invitation to tell my story, was a step toward facing my fears head-on, embracing vulnerability, and leading by example.
Confronting cultural conditioning in an Asian family
Growing up in a traditional Asian household, I was taught values that clashed with putting myself out there. Children were to be seen and not heard, blend in to not call attention to yourself, and your action is a reflection on your family so don’t do anything to make the family lose face. Having a critical father, I’ve learned that it’s safer to be in the background than in the spotlight. The spotlight is too risky in bringing about criticism of shortcomings and shame to the family. These fears and insecurities initially fueled my reluctance to share my story.
Recognizing opportunities
Despite my initial hesitations, I couldn’t ignore the potential benefits of a platform like VoyageLA. I could pay homage to my family whose sacrifices and dogged tenacity made my life in America possible. I could address the discrepancy between the high psychological need in the Asian community and their low utilization of psychotherapy services due to the stigma of mental illness. I could spread hope that there are Vietnamese Psychologists like me who can help because I understand the language, the culture, the trauma(s), and the relationship challenges.
A voyage rediscovered
The story of my voyage to America and the bumpy journey into this profession is the most intimate account of my life so far. I had known bits and pieces of facts about my family’s migration story. But this was the first time all the dates and events were compiled together to reveal what was happening in the first five years of my life amidst the political upheaval. I have a clearer understanding of the emotional landscape of my early years of life and greater compassion for my caregivers and what they were and were not able to provide.
Bridging personal and professional identity as a Vietnamese Psychologist
The interview also marked a convergence of my personal and professional worlds. Until now, my family doesn’t know what I do professionally, aside from my title as a Psychologist. And few people in my professional community, including patients, know the details of my journey to America and the field of Psychology. I am nervous that my family would be upset by my unveiling of our relational struggles. I am nervous that my colleagues would disapprove of my vulnerable self-disclosures. And I am nervous that my current and potential patients would think I’m too flawed to help them.
Finding purpose amidst insecurities
In situations like these where unchecked doubts and insecurities could easily run amuck, I call forth the therapist in me to provide some grounding perspectives. What I find immensely effective in combating anxiety is connecting to the greater purpose of why you’re doing something. The spiraling of anxiety and insecurities could be understood as a preoccupation with your perceived vulnerabilities. This preoccupation is rendered insignificant when you can see the potential positive impact of your actions. In my case, the greater good is to educate the public about the value of psychotherapy, provide hope for Asian people struggling with mental health, and inspire future generations of Asian Psychologists. If there’s a chance of accomplishing any of these three goals, then I would’ve succeeded.
Embracing my story
Through sharing my journey, I hope to convey a message of survival and resilience. Despite my struggles and vulnerabilities, I’ve thrived, and I’m proud of the story I have to tell. I recognize now, that it’s a story worth sharing.
Click here to read the full interview I did for VoyageLA.
Dr. Nina Nguy is a Clinical Psychologist in Orange County, CA. Her specialties include anxiety therapy for Asian professionals, Asian parenting, perinatal mental health, Vietnamese counseling, and psychological evaluations for immigration court.